Thursday, March 17, 2011
Faith
When Barbara and I were leaving the Royal Alexandra Hospital, we were talking about going home together. "It could have been worse," I said. Barbara's response: "if it had been worse, I know where I would be now."
Questions
To be human is to have lots of questions. If a teacher tries to answer questions the students are not asking, not much learning will take place.
However, when people are hurting, we need to be really careful with the questions we ask. Here timing is everything. For hurting people, questions can be unwelcome and intrusive.
Perhaps you don't need to know everything about what is going on.
Possibly you can ask the questions later.
Perhaps the person we are visiting is a very private person.
Here is an example of timing--
You come home from work to see that your wife has had a rough day. One of the kids has just vomited and the other is being mighty cantankerous. Now is the time to pitch in to see if you can help, but if you ask instead why your best shirt is not yet ironed, it will be a cold evening in your household. You might even just iron your own shirt.
Give some thought to how you might visit someone in a hospital without asking even one question. Let the person you visited decide what to tell you, and when.
You might be surprised to find that you will find out more when you ask less.
Allan.
However, when people are hurting, we need to be really careful with the questions we ask. Here timing is everything. For hurting people, questions can be unwelcome and intrusive.
Perhaps you don't need to know everything about what is going on.
Possibly you can ask the questions later.
Perhaps the person we are visiting is a very private person.
Here is an example of timing--
You come home from work to see that your wife has had a rough day. One of the kids has just vomited and the other is being mighty cantankerous. Now is the time to pitch in to see if you can help, but if you ask instead why your best shirt is not yet ironed, it will be a cold evening in your household. You might even just iron your own shirt.
Give some thought to how you might visit someone in a hospital without asking even one question. Let the person you visited decide what to tell you, and when.
You might be surprised to find that you will find out more when you ask less.
Allan.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Letter on Barbara
Written March 4, 2011.
The last week or so I received a number of questions about Barbara. I will give a brief response, but first of all I am happy to let you know that Barbara is gradually improving after her episode of February 19.
Barbara suffered a tonic clonic seizure. The doctor called it an acute medical crisis. Nearly half of the time no tests will show what caused the seizure. And she did have many tests! The doctor who supervised her case in the Royal Alexandra Hospital wants to see her again in the middle of March. The neurologist will also contact us in a while for a follow-up investigation.
The seizure also aggravated a couple of problems she had for a while already, either that, or they have been bothering her more.
Barbara has GERD, acid reflux. We are now managing that well with Zantac and Gaviscon.
Some years ago she also had a nasty fall that hurt her back, and that started acting up after the seizure again. For a while it was very painful; when she moved she would wince with the pain. But that is improving, too. She has cut way back on the pain medicine, and is now reasonably mobile, she is able to get out of bed by herself, and is walking fairly well with the aid of a walker.
At times she is very anxious, close to the point of panic, and I do not allow her to be by herself. I can go out for a bit when one of the children is here. Our children have been very helpful. Our son Allan came too, from Qatar, but he had to leave again today (March 4). To have such wonderful relations with our grown daughters and son is a treasure!
In the meanwhile, someone will come to give Barbara a shower twice per week, and I will receive two hours of respite, in addition to what our children are able to give.
She is on a number of medications, and it is a challenge to keep that all straight. A dossette helps to keep track of that.
Some of you have asked what you can do to help. I can do basic housework, but with some items our daughters can help. Nancy has given Barbara a shower twice, and today Carol cleaned the toilets for me.
That we were able to find this particular apartment and move in here now almost a year ago is a blessing from God. There is easily room for the walker; also the doors are wide enough for a wheel chair, if it were to come to that.
If Barbara continues to improve, we will probably be fine this way. We don’t know what the future holds but we hope that we will be able to manage.
Barbara recognizes people instantly, and can carry on a good conversation. Her short-term memory is not good, but it is showing signs of improving.
As things develop, I will put it on facebook for now. This is a quick and easy way to keep in touch.
I hope this is not more information than you care to have.
The last week or so I received a number of questions about Barbara. I will give a brief response, but first of all I am happy to let you know that Barbara is gradually improving after her episode of February 19.
Barbara suffered a tonic clonic seizure. The doctor called it an acute medical crisis. Nearly half of the time no tests will show what caused the seizure. And she did have many tests! The doctor who supervised her case in the Royal Alexandra Hospital wants to see her again in the middle of March. The neurologist will also contact us in a while for a follow-up investigation.
The seizure also aggravated a couple of problems she had for a while already, either that, or they have been bothering her more.
Barbara has GERD, acid reflux. We are now managing that well with Zantac and Gaviscon.
Some years ago she also had a nasty fall that hurt her back, and that started acting up after the seizure again. For a while it was very painful; when she moved she would wince with the pain. But that is improving, too. She has cut way back on the pain medicine, and is now reasonably mobile, she is able to get out of bed by herself, and is walking fairly well with the aid of a walker.
At times she is very anxious, close to the point of panic, and I do not allow her to be by herself. I can go out for a bit when one of the children is here. Our children have been very helpful. Our son Allan came too, from Qatar, but he had to leave again today (March 4). To have such wonderful relations with our grown daughters and son is a treasure!
In the meanwhile, someone will come to give Barbara a shower twice per week, and I will receive two hours of respite, in addition to what our children are able to give.
She is on a number of medications, and it is a challenge to keep that all straight. A dossette helps to keep track of that.
Some of you have asked what you can do to help. I can do basic housework, but with some items our daughters can help. Nancy has given Barbara a shower twice, and today Carol cleaned the toilets for me.
That we were able to find this particular apartment and move in here now almost a year ago is a blessing from God. There is easily room for the walker; also the doors are wide enough for a wheel chair, if it were to come to that.
If Barbara continues to improve, we will probably be fine this way. We don’t know what the future holds but we hope that we will be able to manage.
Barbara recognizes people instantly, and can carry on a good conversation. Her short-term memory is not good, but it is showing signs of improving.
As things develop, I will put it on facebook for now. This is a quick and easy way to keep in touch.
I hope this is not more information than you care to have.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Barbara's health issues.
For our family and friends who might be interested, and for myself, too, I want to record something of what happened to Barbara the last while.
As of today, March 5, 2011, Barbara has become able to take care of her personal issues. She can go to the washroom and dress herself. She still gets exasperated when she cannot remember what happened to her, or what someone told her a few hours ago. She does remember people, and can carry on a good conversation. She walks with a walker, but can manage. She depends on me for pretty much everything else, like keeping track of her medicines.
We are thankful for our family and all the professionals who helped so well and graciously. Our daughters come to check up on us regularly, and our son came from Qatar to spend 10 days with us. We could not ask for anything more, all that love.
Thanks be to God for his continuing faithfulness to us.
May God sustain us in trust, give us physical health, a heart to love and clarity of mind.
As of today, March 5, 2011, Barbara has become able to take care of her personal issues. She can go to the washroom and dress herself. She still gets exasperated when she cannot remember what happened to her, or what someone told her a few hours ago. She does remember people, and can carry on a good conversation. She walks with a walker, but can manage. She depends on me for pretty much everything else, like keeping track of her medicines.
We are thankful for our family and all the professionals who helped so well and graciously. Our daughters come to check up on us regularly, and our son came from Qatar to spend 10 days with us. We could not ask for anything more, all that love.
Thanks be to God for his continuing faithfulness to us.
May God sustain us in trust, give us physical health, a heart to love and clarity of mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)